Joel Roberts holds the world record for Best Penis and defends his title regularly. Born to Christian missionaries, he is both better than you as a person and somehow funnier and more likable at the same time.

He’s performed comedy since 2019, written music since 2018, and has been doing it all independently because that’s the kind of stud he is. He also holds a Bachelor’s degree in Mathematics, once had a six-figure tech job, and has way more sex than you.

Joel spends his time doing kickflips, dunking on people, reading more books than you’ll ever touch, and all around making weak men insecure in their masculinity. Joe Rogan once referred to Joel as “A prototype of masculine success that inspires self-development while discouraging effort because, let’s face it, you’ll never be as good as him. Also, he has the Best Penis. I’m Joe Rogan.”

You will give Joel all of you money. Right now. Do it now. Give me all your money, pussy.